Save the whale: 1st September 2002

'Hey, save some for me!' The cry that goes up often in restaurants across Japan. A country where whale conservation is all about best before dates and very large freezers. Stop blubbering and eat your cetacean! Sushi

Deists Desist: 1st August 2002

- Knock, Knock
- Who's there?
- The God of Love!
- I'm not interested in joining your church
- Damn you to hell!
Bing-bong, Eden calling!

Vote with your feet up: 1st July 2002

People pay for the privilege of voting the latest Pop Idle. But we all pay as apathy wins another election and Big Brother marches on. Vote for me: [ X ]

Politics of Contentment: 1st June 2002

Jack Straw, former student radical turned Orwellian caricature would prefer it if you didn't vote for him, your inaction makes him morally more powerful! While George just doesn't care. Why bother?

Indirect Action: 1st May 2002

While the boy in blues pad up, the black bloc pick up rocks and weekend anarchists SMS reassurance to mater & pater, I will be ducking down a side street for board meetings and caffeine based refreshments. Mayday! Mayday!

God not found in Madison, WI: 5th September 2002

Those cheeseheads have it pretty good, a beautiful liberal capital in the heart of verdant state. But for all their lakes they lack the Lord. Eloi, Eloi, Lama Sabachthani

Full Papal Nudity: 28th August 2001

People having sex in the rectory. Maybe you have seen something more depraved? Send it in! Corrupting Youth

This is not an exercise: 16th April 2001

If life is for the living, why are so many of us obsessed with death? You have something less than 120 years left to live and the clock is ticking - make the most of it. This is Real

Commendeth Them: 26th March 2001

The inspiration that turns the course of opinion never comes from where we thought it would. Cookie

Questionable: 3rd February 2001

A fool can ask more questions than a wise man can answer. I am never short of a response, even if I repeat myself, plagarise others, or even repeat myself. Responsiblity

Let there be Lucifer: 15th October 2000

Satan wants to be your friend. Why not invite him into your life? He will be very grateful, and offers a very attractive package: Temporal power, all your worldly desires met, lotsa sex, there is some small print but... Go! Satan, Go! 

ME YOU GO PLAY: 31st August 2000

Why! do! you! tawk! like! this! to! lickle! bay-bees!?! -- Yes-you-do! -- Yes-you-do! -- And! eye! do! too! -- Yes-I-do! -- That's-right! -- Good! Boy! -- Good! Girl! -- Who-sa! good! little! bay-bee!? BLACK BUGS 

Man vs. Manatee: 5th August 2000

Overweight sea-cows pitted against overweight couch-potatoes in powerboats. It is hardly a fair fight, and the manatees tactics of non-violent resistance is not working. It's slaughter. Manatee-hee? 

Blood Donor: 19th June 2000

There's no pleasing some people, you do your bit to help out and they throw it back in your face. A simple misunderstanding, but they make a big song and dance. If I were less the generous person I am, I'd say they were openly rude.
At least that is how I remember it, I was feeling slightly faint.. Very nearly an armful.

Pretty Vacation: 23rd May 2000

Which unspoilt Greek island would you like to spoil? It would be nicer if only this paradise wasn't so full of tourists? Wish you were here?

Pyro-nationalist: 2nd April 2000

Just tell me who to hate. If you tell me to, I will. The soundness of your argument is less persuasive than the loudness of your voice. Burn flags, not books...

The new, new beginning: 23rd February 2000

Charles Darwin was obsessed by pigeons, I attach too much to the lives of simians. (Though rather that than the lives of the saints - the self-righteous sort of people that just invite painful martyrdom and hang the propaganda - if it is an unjust disembowelling they want then they have only to ask. But I digress..) Origin of the specious...

The old me: 29th April '98 - November '99

I have learnt my lesson, I have forgiven myself, I have learnt to love myself...
Me! Me! Me!
Haven't you heard? It is the new religion.Times past