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Last May, without thinking too much about it, I filled in the questionnaire on the right, on the request of a charming young lady I was seeking to impress... As a gentleman, I will not trouble you with the details of my personal
life, but sufficed to say, seven months later, I whizzed through the faintly familiar questionnaire on the left at the behest of another charming young lady...
History repeated itself but, as I
say, I am not here to bore you with the unhappy circumstances of
what I laughingly call my life. Instead, I am going to
bore you with a colourful comparison of my eerily similar yet revealingly
different
answers..
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Mon 18-Dec-2000 4:16 pm
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Tue 09-May-2000 12:28 am
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FULL NAME:
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Caspar John MacArthur Addyman
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SEX:
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Boy
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WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT OUIJA BOARDS?
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Non-Nein!
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Non-Nein
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WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT OUIJA BOARDS?
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YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW?
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The Simpsons
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The Simpsons
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YOUR FAVOURITE TV SHOW?
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WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
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Work - none, Home - Computer consultancy ad.
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Shakespeare
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WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
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FAVORITE BOARD GAME:
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Chess
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Triv.
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FAVOURITE BOARD GAME?
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FAVORITE MAGAZINE:
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Private Eye
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Private Eye
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FAVOURITE MAGAZINE:
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FAVORITE SMELLS:
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Roz, Christmas Trees, onions frying in olive oil,
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Crushed Coriander leaves, Onions frying in olive
oil
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FAVOURITE SMELLS:
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FAVORITE ACTOR:
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Nigel Bruce in Sherlock Holmes, Orson Welles
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FAVORITE ACTRESS:
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Juliet Stevenson, Emma Thompson
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WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD:
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knowing that you've done something which has hurt other
people (stealing Roz's answer here)
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BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD:
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being in love / Learning something new and
true
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FAVORITE SOUNDTRACK:
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Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon Concerto by Tan Dun - for
the Ang Lee film.
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WHATS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE
MORNING?
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How much longer can I stay here?
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How many times can I press the snooze button without being
late. (I'll steal this answer, I couldn't agree more)
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WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN
THE MORNING?
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DO YOU GET MOTION SICKNESS?
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Not anymore - was renowned for it when I was little (held a
school record - unbroken to this day)
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Yes.
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DO YOU GET MOTION SICKNESS:
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ROLLER COASTERS-- SCARY OR EXCITING?
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Excellent!
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Not as much as I'd like. (At least seven years since last
time.)
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ROLLER COASTERS?
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PEN OR PENCIL?
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Pencil
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Pencil
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PEN OR PENCIL?
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HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE?
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Always at least one - don't want to freak out the
caller.
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At least one and a half- I don't want to scare the
caller.
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HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE?
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FUTURE DAUGHTERS NAME:
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Sally
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I'd need to see her face.
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FUTURE DAUGHTERS NAME:
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FUTURE SON'S NAME:
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Theodore
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same as above...
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FUTURE SONS NAME:
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FAVORITE FOODS:
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Thai green curry, Bacon, Fresh Coriander, Jerusalem
Artichokes, Globe Artichokes, …
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Jerusalem Artichokes, Bacon, Thai Green Curry
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FAVOURITE FOODS:
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DO YOU GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS?
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Yes
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At a distance
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DO YOU GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS?
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CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA:
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Chocolate (bit of a stupid question)
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Chocolate
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CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA?
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FAVORITE ICE CREAM:
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Lemon Sorbet
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Lemon Sorbet
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FAVOURITE ICE CREAM?
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CROUTONS OR BACON BITS:
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Croutons
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DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE?
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I like long, long journeys with very little
stopping
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Yes, if alone. With passengers I am less
comfortable.
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DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE?
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DO YOU SLEEP WITH STUFFED ANIMALS?
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When did you hear that scandalous rumour?! Yes, I do ,
yes.
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Yes (But I can explain !)
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DO YOU SLEEP WITH STUFFED ANIMALS?
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STORMS-- COOL OR SCARY:
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Wonderful -Here, in London they clear the air. In Yorkshire
there is more atmosphere.. My bedroom had a pitched roof and velux windows
I find the pattering of rain is very soothing - it is virtually the only
good thing about sleeping in tents.
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Cool.
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STORMS -COOL OR SCARY?
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WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?
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Still waiting
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An electric one.
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WHAT IS YOUR DREAM CAR?
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IF YOU COULD MEET 1 PERSON, DEAD OR ALIVE, WHO WOULD IT
BE?
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Master Yang - inventor of Yang style t'ai chi
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Buddha
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IF YOU COULD MEET ONE PERSON, DEAD OR ALIVE, WHO WOULD IT
BE?
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No
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DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?:
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A dragon, Snuffy
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WHAT KIND & THEIR NAMES:
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FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK?
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Red Rioja
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Rum and coke, red wine.
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FAVOURITE ALCOHOLIC DRINKS:
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WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN?
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Leo
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Leo
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ZODIAC SIGN?
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WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE POET?
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Omar Khayyam - the man more than his poetry. Top poet
-Shakespeare, has to be given his due.
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Omar Khayyam
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WHO IS YOUR FAVOURITE POET?
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DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCOLLI?
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Yes
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Yes.
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DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OFF BROCCOLI?
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GUYS--IF A GIRL ASKED FOR THE SHIRT OFF YOUR BACK WOULD YOU
GIVE IT?
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You bet - A chance to show off my tattoo!
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Yes.
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GUYS, IF A GIRL ASKED YOU FOR THE SHIRT OFF YOUR BACK,
WOULD YOU GIVE IT?
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GIRLS--WOULD YOU EVER ASK A GUY FOR HIS SHIRT?
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GIRLS, WOULD YOU EVER ASK A GUY FOR THE SHIRT OFF HIS BACK?
-
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IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED WHAT WOULD IT BE?
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Children's Author.
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IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
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I can, but probably will not.. (Cambridge blue maybe?) I
would quite like to go grey though.
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Obviously I can but inevitably I don't. I wouldn't mind
flecks of grey though.
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IF YOU COULD DYE YOU HAIR ANY COLOUR WHAT WOULD IT
BE?
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HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE?
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Yes
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I thought so, now I'm not sure.
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HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE?
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WHAT IS ON YOUR WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?
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A morbid cartoon and lively art.
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The Beatles crossing Abbey Road, A cartoon of the Grim
Reaper
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WHAT IS ON THE WALLS OF YOUR ROOM?
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IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL?
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My heart says half full, my perversity says the quantum
superposition: 1/2 |half-full> + 1/2 |half-empty>
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Half Empty. - that seems closer to the next
glass.
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IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL?
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WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SNAPPLE?
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£1.70 for weak orange/lemon squash? I think
not
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The 'Snapple' concept makes me uneasy
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WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SNAPPLE?
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FAVORITE MOVIE(S)?
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The Life of Brian, Dr. Strangelove, Fifth Element, Ken's
Hamlet
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Life of Brian
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FAVOURITE MOVIE:
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Very difficult, but one of them is 'A Wild Sheep Chase' by
Haruki Murakami
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FAVOURITE BOOK:
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ARE YOU A LEFTY OR RIGHTY OR AMBIDEXTRIOUS?
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Right-handed
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Right
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ARE YOU A LEFTY, RIGHTY, OR AMBIDEXTROUS?
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DO YOU TYPE WIYH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT
KEYS?
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mist of thd tome
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Yed - err - no a lirrle bit iff.
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DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS?
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IF YOU COULD BE 1 GARDENING TOOL, WHAT WOULD IT
BE?
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A dibber!
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A dibber.
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IF YOU COULD BE ONE GARDENING TOOL, WHAT WOULD YOU BE?
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WHATS UNDER YOUR BED?
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dust & some gentleman's periodicals.
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All the skeletons that I can't fit in my
wardrobe.
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WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED:
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WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER?
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Tricky one, used to be 137, might be pi, or phi, but I
guess I have to go with e, the natural logarithm
(2.71828182845905...)
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Used to be 137, these days I'm torn between Pi and
23
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WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE NUMBER?
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WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE?
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A gothic country house on a desolate moor.
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FAVORITE VACATION DESTINATION?
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Florida for golf, Anywhere with light and fluffy snow (and
an incline) for skiing, Dublin for the weekend.
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SAY ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON(S) WHO SENT THIS TO YOU.
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She outclasses Boticelli's Venus.
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PERSON YOU SENT THIS TO THAT IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND.
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Myself
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Basketball.
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FAVOURITE SPORT TO WATCH:
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satori
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YOUR LIFETIME GOALS IN A NUTSHELL:
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Wednesday, 17th January 2001 'So what?' I hear you yawning.
Apart from showing that you are often very predictable, occasionally inconsistent and appartently totally self-obsessed, what are you trying to prove?
That some answers are the same is simply not interesting, that some are different, the same. Intruiging are those bits in between where my brane was grasping hold of the same joke, idea or image, but expressing it with differing punchlines, images or phrases...
where Snapple antipathy gets expressed differently,
where Christmas trees replace
coriander leaves,
where soft toys get to sleep with me,
where
I can but adverbally don't or won't,
where typing presses
the same wrong buttons,
where numbers are
changed but phones are still answered promptly.
where storms
& sickness inspire stories,
where I lie in wait.
Not earth-shatteringly meaningful, or offering too much insight into my
personality per se, but, I think, hinting at the mechanisms of the
brain. Any given brain is more predictable than we might
think! [Aside:]
This slight confection causes me to
reminisce; I recall how it was that I used to navigate round the streets of Paris: I liked to
walk, and the first trip to a new place would be start with a
fleeting glance over a map to get my bearings, followed by a
meandering oddessy, driftingly happy and carelessly along, using
crude dead reckoning to decide when to turn down a street that I
suspected would lead me in the right direction, often it did.
Weeks or months later to get to the same places, I would try to
re-trace my steps - I found coming to non-descript unremembered junctions
that choosing a fork on a whim and find a little further that I would
encounter familiar lampposts, doorways and markings showing I was on the
same route. Subconsciously, I had taken the same path.
Obliterating clichés.. Try as I
might I seem to be trapped in a reflexive pattern of stimulus and
response. One strives for originality, but playing games with
words and ideas we unwittingly follow well worn
paths. I have my jokes and in this case, what might be
called, chat-up lines. I overuse them - They are my own
personal cliches. I knew this and can live with, it is
no big deal. (Actually, it is a result of a limited repertoire
of things that I hold dear, and hence an over familiarity and
fluency with them. Faced with something outside my scope I am at a
loss to make sense of it, and am dangerously silent. Silence has
been a bigger downfall than cliche in my life so far. If there is
anything I do regret it is that failure to communicate...) Freedom! Still, I have a fear of repeating
myself, of being boring, of repeating myself, of being
predictable. I thought I was doing well, but chancing to compare
these questionnaires, the extent of my hardwired behaviour
becomes apparent. The mush in our heads is rather deterministic.
Maybe Free Will is an illusion after all. Of course not, you
would have to be mad to agree with the theories
of Watson & Skinner (or at least very cunningly
conditioned!!) It isn't our experience that responding
mechanically/procedurally to the stimulating world around us. We
feel differently. But why? There is no theoretical reason
on earth why I cannot, by peering closely enough at the firings of
your neurones and the pathways of your axons and dendrites, figure
out exactly how you are going to act and react. Sure, I have to
get deep inside your head, I might have some non-linearity and
'chaos' to cope with but still I challenge you to act
differently. Are we forced and fated to do what we do, say
what we say? I certainly don't think so, but now I am less
sure. Why not take the test yourself?
(Perhaps you knew I would say that? (And that? (And.. oh dear!))) Saturday, 3rd February
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