Tying Spiders in Knots.

My ISP kindly provides a log of all activity on this site. Unkindly they provide it as one mammoth unformatted text file, that makes is pretty close to useless for any informative purposes.

However, I can see how people have arrived at my site either the source of the hyperlink that brought them here, or the text they entered into a search engine that recommended my site as relevant. As these misguided internauts were sent expectantly to my pages, little could they have realised that my webdom is wholly irrelevant. No can have found what they wanted, yet mysteriously some stayed a worryingly long time. Perhaps foolishly persistent that hidden away somewhere in my site was the answer to the questions that drew them here. They were wrong.

Nonetheless, to encourage more of the same, I am listing the phrases they searched for in the hope of tricking even more people back here to meet with disappointment. They are ranked in order of how amusing I find them...

http://www.infoseek.com http://www.metacrawler.com http://www.dogpile.com
Toy+story+on+ice
i+shaved+my+head+on+a+dare
fishing + soundbite
david+koresh+music
herion*
free+cock && free+coock*
Port+Elizebeth+paedophile
squirrel + monkey
music+group && Arkana+eat+me
pictures && fear+and+loathing
pictures+paedophile
paedophile && story
Buddhism
Big+ears+pictures+human

herion+harpoon
funny+beer+true+story

funny+sound+messages

*Notes: 1. I have no idea who or what 'herion' is, I had merely mistypde 'heroin', It is easy to do! Whatever it is it is popular, (at least with visitors to my page! Both of them stayed for ages once they had failed to find any 'herion'.)
2. I like this spelling, though I cannot imagine what prompted it.

I can just imagine the disappointed faces of everyone who has searched the web in good faith, finding my site in the return short-list and surfing in, eagerly awaiting their tons of paedophilia, squirrel monkeys or amusing real-life stories of beer. How sad they must have been.

Now, because of this list, these words appear even more often on my pages and as time goes by more and more bewildered souls will be washed up on my shores.

 

<UPDATE : 02-July-99>

More hunting, less

 

SEARCH PHRASE  

paedophile resources
caspar
monkey style buddhism
paedophile
moriarty
keyboard spy
german keyboard
herion history
story generation
noddy AND toytown
herion
paedophile
Sherlock Holmes moriarty
chainsmoking women
watson monkey
Beagles and security
idiom
siskel & ebert
the doors
duckman
velouria
velouria
paedophile
HUMMANA
SPRAINED ANKLES
paedophile
duckman & ajax
obese AND bikini
IP-Maskerading
paedophile
herion
the charge of the light brigade
thar she blows
herion
Charge of the Light Brigade
charge light brigade tennysin crimean war
Notes on Tennysons the charge of the Light brigade by Tennyson
KNITTED JUMPERS
last night proms
prostitutes london
ice breakers
Charge of the Light Brigade
the charge of the light brigade
paedophile stories
paedophilia collection
charge of the light brigade
charge light brigade
The charge of the light brigade
Tennyson poetical Charge of light brigade rode jaws
openings and closings
MORI research london
shy de niro
London Prostitutes
keyboard spy
caspar
coca dcola recipe
life equation universe
maskerading
wise questions
alfred lord tennyson and charge of the light brigade and interpretation of poem
frankie says relax
rocket schematics
coca-cola ingredients
The world is everything that is the case
coca cola recipe
coca cola sugar
The Charge of the Light Brigade and Alfred c Lord Tennyson
Alfred c Lord Tennyson Charge of the Light Brigade literary analysis
universe stability
lemon oil
GLAND OF OPPORTUNITY
Ernest Saunders
recipe coca cola
auto erotic asphyxia
order cocaine
naked contortionist
order cocaine
Charge of the Light Brigade
coca processing" "coca-cola ingredients"
where can I purchase crack cocaine
Fatwa On-line
Haiku Sounds
gross facts
coca-cola ingredients
order cocaine online
nutmeg oil
monestary and vanilla
classical crossroads clapton
mr.Duckman
auto erotic asphyxia
The Charge of the Light Brigade
sarah duchess of york
theories on sleep
nutmeg cocacola
coca cola nutmeg
erotic asphyxia
Charge Light Brigade
articles on Tennyson Light Brigade
webdom
Charge of the Light Brigade
where can i find cocaine
animated Disney movie Animal Farm
Swear words
Tennyson The Charge of the Light Brigade
gross facts
orange oil
sugar in coca cola
Affair with Ernest Saunders
if shit happens
Order cocaine
tomograph
surveys about love
wittgenstein tractatus
Paris smoke
charge of the light brigade
dragons
coca_cola_ingredients
wise question
coca cola glycerin
rocket blueprints
ribaa fatwa
Alien draw
Where can I find pictures of dragons
rotwillers
original recipe coca cola
cocaine order
Coca-Cola ingredients
































































































































 

There are plenty of interesting conclusions to be drawn from these data, (I have no doubt) I, myself, am not inclined to sketch any. Though, banally, I do not demur from stating the obvious fact that these web cartographers/lexographers (?) are thorough and relentless. It seems there is not a sparrow that falls, nor a charging cavalry that escapes their . Why are they so obsessive in

 

The inclusivity of their project makes it difficult to separate the wheat from the chaff.

The best place to hide a needle is in a huge pile of needles, the second best place is in a haystack.

 

 

 

 

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